Early in our lives we are taught that success is very good and failure is not so good. It is learned that success has a reward attached and failure has some type of punishment. While having this thought instilled into our minds, it may be difficult to overcome the emotional retributions that come with personal failure. If you find yourself having to deal with personal failure, keep these steps in mind for your healing process:
Instructions
1. Acknowledge the situation that you perceive to be a personal failure. Take a step back and look at the big picture without judgement. Things are rarely as detrimental as you think, once you can develop a better perspective. In dealing with personal failure you must assess the problem before choosing the path to overcome it.
2. Get past the idea that failure is about you personally. Failure is only an event in time and has nothing to do with defining you as a person. When things go wrong, you tend to blame yourself in such hard ways that it makes you think that you are characterized as a failure. Lose that thinking because failing is simply an action that happens every day and doesn't necessarily define who you are.
3. Realize that not everything is in your control. For example, if your job requires a goal to be met with variables involved, you may not achieve the goal if those variables are something that you can not control. Your boss may make you feel like it is a personal failure, but in actuality, some things are just not in your grasp.
4. Develop a positive outlook and attitude towards your failures. Even though personal failure is hurtful to your feelings, the mistakes that have been made will give you an opportunity to learn from them. Use the knowledge and wisdom that you have gained in order to change the things that you can. They can even become somewhat of a stepping stone for you to become successful at the thing that you had thought of as a failure.
5. Keep in mind that the feelings of personal failure will pass. It is important to realize that one day this perceived failure will fade into the back of your memory. You can deal with personal failure when you understand that these feelings won't last forever. Possibly, you will come out of it having learned a valuable lesson and also having built personal character.
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