Explain Death to a Young Child
Children are not born with a fear of death. Any fears surrounding death or dying that a child has or will later develop will be learned. It is important that children receive honest and informative information and not be protected from death and dying.
Instructions
1. Understand that grasping the fact that death is permanent is the hardest thing for a young child to understand. The young preschooler also doesn't comprehend that death can happen to them.
2. Anticipate that death, dying and grief can involve a variety of behaviors in a young child. He may become clingy, revert to baby talk or not want to go to his normally-loved preschool, or he may show no reaction to the death at all. The responses may also be intermittent, alternating with the child's normal behavior.
3. Give brief and simple answers as children can't handle too much information at one time. Curiosity about death is normal. Do not dodge the child's questions.
4. Keep the explanations simple, explaining death in terms of physical functions of the body ceasing. Explain that "Now that grandma has died, her body has stopped working. She can't talk or walk or eat or see any longer and she doesn't feel any pain."
5. Allow and encourage the grieving process. Grieving is an important part of healing. Explain to your child that it is normal to cry and feel sad. Explain that grownups sometimes cry too and that you feel sad that grandma has died, but don't frighten the child with excessive grief over death and dying.
6. Avoid telling the child common euphemisms about death like "resting in peace" or "in eternal sleep." Don't say grandma is "sleeping" or "has gone away" and if grandma was sick before she died, reassure the child that if he gets sick it doesn't mean he'll die.
7. Expect the child to ask the same questions over and over while he is trying to understand the permanence of death. Ongoing questions about dying are normal. Just keep answering them honestly and patiently.
8. Help the child remember the person who has died. Talk to him about the good relationship he had with the deceased person. Keep memories alive through discussions of happy times and reminiscing together over pictures.
Tags: death dying, that death, about death, child that, Death Young