Monday, February 9, 2009

Love Oneself After An Abusive Relationship

Finding the strength to leave an abusive relationship is only the first step of the healing process. Women tend to attract the same type of partner time and time again, unless they take steps to ensure that doesn't happen. Before getting involved in another relationship you must first learn to love yourself.


Instructions


1. Understand that you were a victim of an abusive relationship. Despite the fact that the abuser has probably told you for many years that you deserved the abuse, and are not worthy of love, none of that is true. No one deserves to be a victim of abuse.


2. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a best friend that was going through the same experience. Often our "self talk" is harsh and hurtful, even when we would never talk to a friend the same way. Tell yourself all the things that you would tell your friend to reassure her of her self worth.


3. Remain patient with yourself. Understand that it took years of abuse to do the damage that was done to you and it takes time for you to repair that damage, and learn to love yourself again. Do not expect your healing to happen over night. Give yourself the time that you need to recover.


4. Surround yourself with positive people. Find some close friends that provide a good support network, or join a formal support group for victims of abuse.








5. Seek professional counseling to help you process the abuse and help you on the road to recovering. Look in the yellow pages of your local phone book for an abuse hotline that can put you in touch with a good abuse therapist. They might also know of abuse counseling available in your area for little or no charge.

Tags: learn love, learn love yourself, love yourself, Understand that