Controlling behavior in itself cannot strictly be considered abusive, for many people engage in it for healthy reasons. For example, parents will tell a child they won't give her an allowance that week if she continues to pick on her sister, to teach them consequences. But when a person constantly ignores others' personal boundaries and makes unreasonable demands to get her own way, the behavior can be identified as abusive.
Withdrawal
A husband who is irritated that his wife came home late from work refuses to talk to her until the next morning and ignores her as much as possible.
Anger
A jealous girlfriend who is insecure in her relationship throws a fit every time she sees her boyfriend innocently talking to another girl in the hopes that her anger will keep him from socializing with other females.
Violence
An older sister breaks her young sibling's prized china doll or punches her in the arm when the younger girl won't give into the demands of lending a sweater.
Belittling
A mother criticizes her daughter's appearance in a skirt---"You look like a tramp in that"---instead of politely explaining to her that she has to change her outfit because it's not age-appropriate.
Demands
A strict father demands that his 8-year-old son sit through his dinner without speaking unless spoken to.
Invasiveness
Disrespect for personal boundaries is displayed with behaviors such as a mother reading her daughter's diary even though the girl has not given reason to be distrusted, or asking rude questions: "Why do you dress like such a slob?"
Tags: personal boundaries