People who experience an unplanned pregnancy may have difficulty coping with the news, and they also may wonder how their family, friends and coworkers or classmates may react. Although responding to the news of an unplanned pregnancy can be difficult, providing a non-judgmental listening ear can be the first step in giving support and working toward solutions.
Significance
Many people who are facing an unplanned pregnancy need someone who will simply listen to them. Although you may feel like you need to respond to their news right away with advice, judgment or solutions to their problems, just listening can help you better understand the situation, give you time to figure out what to say, and prevent you from saying things that might turn out to be hurtful.
Considerations
An unplanned pregnancy can cause people to go through a mix of emotions including joy, panic, excitement, worry, fear and regret. As they talk with you, they may still be processing these emotions, which can make it difficult to decide if you should congratulate them or help them through crisis mode. In reality, you may need to do a bit of both. If you're not sure what to say, try simply empathizing with their feelings and repeating what they're telling you with responses like "it sounds like you're really looking forward to having the baby when the time comes," or "it sounds like you're really afraid to tell your parents."
Types
Some people with an unplanned pregnancy are pleasantly surprised, even delighted, by the news, while others need time to get used to the idea. Still others already know they do not want to have a child, and many people are not sure what to do. If the person you are talking to falls firmly into one type or the other, you may have an easier time deciding what to say. In cases where the person is ambivalent about the pregnancy, continue to listen. Just giving them someone to talk to, even if you don't know what to say, can be a good way to provide support.
Benefits
Although you may not be comfortable receiving the news of an unplanned pregnancy, especially from a family member or someone you're close to, the fact that they're willing to tell you about it does have benefits for you and for them. The earlier people are able to talk about an unplanned pregnancy, the less likely they are to make hasty decisions they may regret, or feel they need to keep the pregnancy a secret, which can prevent them from getting the support and medical care they need. By providing a supportive atmosphere in which to talk about the situation, families can make well-informed decisions and help the person facing the unplanned pregnancy not feel alone.
Expert Insight
While at first people with an unplanned pregnancy may just want you to listen, eventually they may want help making decisions, ask you for advice, or expect you to have an opinion. If the person is someone you know well, such as your daughter, you may have strong feelings on the subject and have quite a lot to say. In other cases, you may not know help them. In either case, professional pregnancy counseling can help the family involved cope with their emotions, provide them with information about their options, and encourage them to make good decisions.
Tags: unplanned pregnancy, unplanned pregnancy, facing unplanned, facing unplanned pregnancy, help them, like really, news unplanned