Some couples have healthy relationships in spite of a lack of sexual desire.
Not everyone has the same sex drive. Some people have high sex drives, others have low sex drives --- and some people have no sex drive at all. There are a number of reasons for this, ranging from genetics to past experiences with sex to specific preferences. It is important to understand these reasons if you or your partner does not have sexual desire.
Substance Abuse and Addiction
When you're addicted to a substance such as alcohol, prescription drugs or illegal drugs, your substance of choice becomes your top priority. What's more, most substances sap your energy, leaving you with nothing left for sexual desire. Not only do substance addicts often not have the energy for sex, they also don't have the desire because their desire for sex has been replaced with a desire for chemicals.
Depression
Depression is a mental illness that consumes your entire life. Depending on how severe it is, if you are depressed you may not have the energy to even get out of bed. Because sex is such an energetic activity, depression may mean that even if you can get out of bed in the morning, you still don't have the desire or energy to intimately connect with someone.
Trauma
Sexual trauma, such as abuse or other molestation, can have long-lasting effects, no matter how long ago the abuse happened. Sex is generally supposed to inspire good feelings, but if you were sexually traumatized, you might associate sex with negative feelings. This can in turn cause you to lose your sexual desire, as it will not be a positive activity for you. If you have sexual trauma in your past, speak to a doctor or therapist about resolving this trauma and working through it.
Relationship Problems
If you are in a relationship and do not have any sexual desire, there likely is a problem in the relationship. If you feel disconnected from someone, not attracted to him and generally negative toward him, you are not likely to have much sexual desire for him.
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