Friday, August 3, 2012

Avoid Narcissistic Behaviors







Narcissism seems to be running rampant in modern American society. It's also become something we magically diagnose others with without seeking professional help. What we're really talking about here is an epidemic of selfishness, the best way to stop the madness is by starting with yourself. How can you avoid narcissistic behaviors?


Instructions


1. Be honest. Don't gloss over your true feelings, and don't lie to yourself. Pushing your feelings down leads to resentment and anger, and as we all know...those qualities can really turn people into jerks. For example, if you're feeling lonely, admit that to yourself. Don't simply go looking for a fight in order to get attention, spend time asking yourself why you are lonely, how you may have contributed to that feeling, and what you can do about it.


2. As long as you're being honest, learn communicate that honesty in a direct way. Honesty isn't the only answer to avoiding narcissistic behaviors. You can still manipulate people with your honest feelings. So learn to say what you want and why instead of trying to get people to do what you want them to. People can't read your mind! If you know what you want, you have to be responsible for going out there and getting it. Trying to make people feel guilty so you get what you want usually backfires on you.


3. Don't be led around by your feelings. Narcissistic people are completely ruled by their emotions. They think that how they feel is the most important thing in their lives and the lives of those they love. While it's important to get in touch with how you feel and learn be direct, remember, you are not the center of the universe. We all have good days and bad days, and that's normal.


4. Get the chip off your shoulder. Nobody owes you anything. (This of course, doesn't apply to all areas. For example, if you are married, your spouse owes you their fidelity, because they promised that. Your employer owes you your paycheck, etc.) What I mean is, you have to learn to look at life with a normal, non-narcissistic perspective. There is always someone out there who has it worse than you and it helps to remember that on days where you think you're not getting "what you deserve". Be careful what you wish for in that department.


5. Educate yourself about narcissism. We're quick to point out the narcissistic qualities in others and lash out. But how are WE contributing to the cycle. I would recommend doing a little research on the subject via this website, http://www.narcissism101.com/








6. If anything on that site rings a bell, do further research. Buy some books. If you think that narcissism is truly affecting your life, whether it's you or someone you know, find a therapist and start digging in! No time like the present to become nice and functional.

Tags: what want, narcissistic behaviors, think that, your feelings